6 Weeks in Thailand

This is the longest time I’ve spent in a foreign country and my first time living in a foreign country. In 3 weeks time, it will be the longest I’ve ever been away from home. What have I learned in this time?

I am fulfilled by: New experiences

Although I’m grateful I obtained my education near my birthplace, part of me wishes I would have left long ago. I got to a point where I felt trapped and stifled. I knew that I couldn’t grow or learn anything new from the place I came from. I had to find new horizons. I had always wanted to go to Thailand and I knew that it would probably the best country for my temperament.

In only 6 weeks of being here, I’ve already had some amazing experiences. Making friends from: South Africa, Ireland, England, Scotland and America. Topsy-turfy nights on Khaosan Road: the lines blurred between fiction and reality. Peaceful nights: riding my bike in the rice paddies of the village. Crazy times in the classroom: yelling, trying to make sense to those who don’t understand 99% of what I say. Fun times in the classroom: laughing hysterically at the cutest and sweetest children in the world. Evenings with Karn: spending time with an incredibly strong woman and her adorable 2 year old, learning about Thai culture, laughing, eating and drinking. Nights with Jao: singing Backstreet Boys, enjoying conversation, and tolerating the taste of Leo :)

Days and nights traveling: by plane, by bus, by minivan, by tuk-tuk, by taxi. Through the countryside and in one of the largest cities on earth (Bangkok: the real city that never sleeps). Wat Pho: the reclining Buddha, epic architecture, and serenity. Ko Samet: delving into the epic destiny, which led me to the isle. Being supremely happy: feeling the sand between my toes and the waves in concert with the rhythms of the moon.

On the ocean, you can feel the power of the earth connected by a molecule that comprises most of our physical matter. You can connect to the vast beyond that stretches to every continent, and contains billions of life forms. The water is vast, almost incomprehensibly so…. but water, just like all matter is essentially empty. An atom is mostly empty space. The ocean (just like eternity) is both tremendous and void at the same time. Buddhism 101: Form is emptiness, emptiness is form.

I need to learn to: Let go

It’s so hard for me to let go of good things: namely good people. Although it was very easy for me to let go of my home area, and the United States in general (I was chomping at the bit to escape), there is someone that I haven’t fully gotten over. I wanted a quick fix: someone new to meet to get over the old reality. But I have come to accept that it will take time. Things have changed and we don’t have what we had before. Impermanence is the only constant, and although my rational mind is fully aware of this fact, my heart and spirit are so resistant to abandon the pull and feel of ecstatic joys, that were all too recent and still raw.

The newness and vividness of my adventures are ever present, but when I’m alone, I think of the past and cling so fervently to a dream that is vanishing. The hardest part of this journey is not teaching, not learning the language, not adjusting to a new culture. The hardest part is learning to trust spirit and enter into a willingness to let go of the past to make room for the present.

I will: Consume myself with desire for the present, stop dwelling on the past, and create better habits

The wonderful new experiences are oddly juxtaposed to my stubborn reluctance to let go, and so my life has become somewhat of a contradiction. I know that time is the greatest healer, but I don’t want to wait for time. I want start changing today. I want to begin the process of accepting each and every moment as if it is my last. To finally develop a true breathing practice, and find the inner stillness the sages have. And to stop looking for a relationship with another to fulfill me, when I know that real fulfillment only comes from inside. This is the task at hand – a great one. But over time, I will write about my experiences and preserver to create a new life for myself. Not just a life of adventure, but also a life of peace despite circumstance.

Things I love about Thailand:

How laid back everything is
The people (are very friendly)
Chang
Tuk-Tuk rides
The humor
The beauty: in Isaan, in Bangkok, and in the islands
Wai-topia
How proud I feel when I order something new on a menu
The streets next to Khoasan Road that are chill
Wats (temples)
“Hello teacher”
The green lushness all around me at all times


Drawbacks of Thailand:

Just how laid back everything is
Waiting in line at 7-11
The brooms
The dogs
The obsession that Thai people have with taking a million selfies
The obsession that Thai people have with playing loud music in public places (where I live)
The geckos (they make very loud robotic noises)
I miss so much food, it’s unreal
The bugs
How hot is is (it’s insanely hot, all the time)
Menus only in Thai
“This is Thailand” – things just don’t work the same here. A different logic rules this universe (will elaborate upon in future posts)

Till next post..Sawadee Kha to you and yours.